TDM 'Pilot into the air pt.1'

[This series consists of the Pokemon Adventure characters with six of my own. Their history does not acquire, so they're just known as 24 normal teens, while Lance is a famous celebrity]

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Lance: Yo! We're coming at you live from Resort Poke'plonta, somewhere in the middle of nowhere. I'm your host, Lance McCoy, dropping season one of the hottest new reality shows on television, right now! (moves to Pier of Shame) Here's the deal, 24 campers have signed up to spend twelve weeks right here at this fancy schmancy resort. Or so they think. (chuckles) They'll compete in challenges against each other, and then have to face the judgment of their fellow campers. Every three days, one team will either win a reward, or watch one of their team members walk down the Dock of Shame, take a ride on the loser boat, ha ha, and leave Total Drama Monsters, for good! (moves to plaza) Their fate will be decided here, at the dramatic campfire ceremonies where each week, all but one camper will receive... a poffin. (takes a bite of one poffin) In the end, only one will be left standing and will be rewarded with cheesy tabloid fame and a small fortune, which let's face it, they're probably blow in a week. They'll have to survive the challenges, and each other, during which cameras will be in their faces! Who will crack under the pressure? Find out here right now on… Total Drama Monsters!

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Lance: Alright, we're back and we're just about to introduce the 24 competitors. First we have Yellow.
(boat comes in with Yellow, then she runs up to Lance)
Yellow: It's so great to meet you! Wow, you look shorter in real life.
Lance: Uhh... Thanks... Okay, so next we have Monta!
(boat comes in with Monta)
Lance: Dude, great to have you here.
Monta: Me too. Hey, you have a cool hair color. Is it dyed? What am I saying, of course it's dyed. Nobody has natural red hair. But then again, there is red hair, but it's technically not Red hair since their kinda more orange. So your hair could be natural, or died, well I dunno. I think it's strange to have red hair, like your hair's kinda on fire, but--
Lance: Just shut up and go over there!
(Monta stops talkling and walks over next to Yellow)
Lance: Geez. Next, we have Yang.
(Yang comes in)
Lance: Hey dude. What's up?
Yang: ...
Lance: You gonna say anything?
Yang: ...
Lance: O-kay then...
(Yang walks over to the other two)
Lance: Now, we have Obsidian.
(Obsidian steps off and glares at Lance)
Lance: Dude.
Obsidian: Seriously? This is where we're staying?
Lance: Yep.
Obsidian: Alright then. Kinda boring if you ask me.
(Obsidian walks away)
(new boat comes in with Alex)
Alex: Hey.
Lance: Hey Alex, welcome to the show.
Alex: It's great to be here.
(Gabby comes in)
Gabby: Hi all!!!
Lance: Gabby, how are you?
Gabby: I'm great! *looks at Alex* Hi!
Alex: Hey.
Gabby: *looks at Yang* Ooh. Who's he?
Alex: I dunno. But he's kinda cute.
Gabby: He sure is.
Yang: (writes in his book)
Lance: Alright, next we have--
White: Me!
(White enters)
White: White's my name, and winning's my game!
Lance: There's the enthusiasm that this show needs!
White: Yep! You gonna expect great things from me!
(Opal enters)
Lance: Opal!
Opal: This is we're staying? A resort? I thought you were lying.
Lance: Sure, let's go with that. (chuckles)
Opal: (raises an eyebrow then walks over to the others)
(Topaz enters)
Topaz: Dude.
Lance: Dude.
Topaz: Hey, saw you in that special, nice work.
Lance: Thanks. It's what I do.
Topaz: So this is where we're staying?
Lance: Yep. Enhance the beauty. (gestures the resort)
Topaz: Cool.
(Topaz walks over to Opal and smiles at her, Opal smiles back)
(Red enters)
Red: Hey.
Lance: Hey dude. Wel--
(Blue enters)
Blue: Yo! Blue's here and ready to rumble! Move dweeb. (knocks down Red)
Lance: Blue! Wassup?!
Blue: I'm in it to win it man. I got it all. Looks, brains, talent, you're lucky to have me here.
Lance: Yep, we sure do.
(Blue walks over to the others, Red gets up and glares at Blue)
(Green enters and examines everyone)
Lance: Green.
Green: (glares at everyone then walks over)
Yellow: (runs at Green) Hi!!! We're gonna be friends for the next 12 weeks!
Green: (looks in disgust, then looks at Lance) You cannot make me stay here with these people! I'm calling my parents. (uses her phone) No connection service? Ugh!
(Silver enters with heavy rock music blaring which causes everybody to look)
Lance: Silver, dude.
Silver: I don't like surprises. (clenches his fist)
Lance: Yeah. Your parole officer warned us about that. And we're ready to jet you back to juvie when you're done.
Silver: Whatevs. (walks by Green) Meet you in the lodge gorgeous.
Green: Drop dead freak.
(Gold enters)
Lance: Hey, it's the Gold-man.
Gold: Hey, great to be here man. (trips and falls)
Silver: (laughs) Dork.
Gold: (gets up and walks over to the rest)
(Crystal enters)
Crystal: Oh my god!!! (glomps Lance)
Lance: (chuckles) Well if it isn't my number-one fan Crystal! How's that blog of yours?
Crystal: It's awesome! (lets Lance go) Can I have another autograph? (pulls out a book)
Lance: Sure kiddo. (signs his autograph)
Crystal: Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (skips over to the rest)
Lance: Up next, we have Bel.
(Bel enters)
Lance: Not too shabby. Mmm.
Bel: Hiii. Okay, you look so familiar.
Lance: I'm Lance McCoy.
Bel: *looks confused*
Lance: I'm the host… Of theshow.
Bel: So that's where I know you from!
Lance: R-right. (thinking that she still has no clue)
(Bel walks over to the rest)
(Cheren enters)
Lance: Cheren.
Cheren: Did you get my memo about my life-threatening allergies?
Lance: I'm sure somebody did.
Cheren: Good. Is this where we're staying?
Silver: No. It's your mother's, and we're throwing a party.
Cheren: Heh. (pushes up his glasses and walks over)
(Ruby enters)
Lance: Ruby my man.
Ruby: Hey. Nice outfit.
Lance: Thanks. 100% silk.
Ruby: (examines it closely)
Lance: (pushes Ruby back) Space.
(Ruby walks over to the rest)
(Sapphire enters)
Lance: Well if it isn't Sapphire.
Sapphire: Hey, nice to meet you. (walks over to the others)
Ruby: (at Sapphire) Hey, I'm Ruby.
Sapphire: Nice to meet you.
Ruby: S-so, nice outfit. Heh.
Sapphire: Thanks. (smiles)
(Emerald enters)
Emerald: Hey-yo!
Lance: Emerald!
Emerald: It's great to be here!
Lance: So's everyone else.
Emerald: Awesome! (does a cartwheel to the others)
(Diamond and Pearl enters)
Diamond: Hello!
Lance: Diamond and Pearl.
Diamond: Hey, look at this! (puts two balls on his eyelids) Derp!
Pearl: Ugh. (facepalms) You see what I have to put up with?
Lance: I see.
(Platinum enters)
Lance: Introducing Miss Platinum. (helps her down from the boat)
Platinum: It's enchanted to be here.
Diamond: (looks at her) Hey, look at this! (pulls his eyelids up and makes funny faces)
Platinum: Uhh… Okay…
(N enters, everyone looks at him with adoring looks)
Lance: And finally, N.
N: Hey man.
Lance: Hey. You know, we brought you here entirely on your looks.
N: I can live with that. (walks over to everyone else)
Crystal: (faints)
Lance: Okay, let's let some thing straight. First off, we need a promo photo of you guys. So, all of you get together now. (takes out a camera)
(everybody gets together in the shot)
Lance: Alright, one… two… Whoops, wait, forgot to take off the lens. (takes off lens) Alright, one… two… Oh, wait, card's full. Just lemme put in a new one. (puts in a new memory card)
White: Hurry up man, my face is freezin'.
Lance: Okay. Everyone say Poke'plonta!
Everyone: Poke'plonta!
(camera flashes)
(a water jet comes in a splashes everyone)
Lance: Ooh. (laughs) Alright, get dry and meet me in the plaza in 10 minutes.

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(at the plaza)
Lance: Okay, so, to get everything on a well to known basis, you'll be staying here for the next 12 weeks.
Silver: No duh genius.
Bel: Excuse me Luke, can I have a room that's facing west with a view? I don't like waking up so early.
Lance: First of all, the name's Lance. And your rooms won't be problem. Cuz' you won't be bunking in any of those. (points at the fancy hotels) You'll be staying there. (points at 2 worn down cabins)
Bel: (gasps)
White: Okay, that ain't fair! You tricked us!
Lance: Am I the one who decides what's fair? Wait, I am! (pulls out a large pile of papers)
White: (glares at Lance)
Silver: Can I make a request to bunk under her? (points to Green)
Green: And if I can make a request, can he go sleep with the sharks?
Lance: Cute. But no, boys and girls have separate rooms.
Diamond: (grabs both Opal and Ruby) Come on guys. We can still have fun.
Ruby: (at Opal) At least you don't have to sleep next to him. (looks at Silver)
Silver: (Noogies a Stantler)
Lance: Now if we can get started, we need to get the teams gathered. First off, Diamond, Pearl, Emerald, Red, Yellow, Green, White, Bel, Ruby, Opal, Topaz and Obsidian, you are all on the Screaming Bibarels.
Green: (sarcastically) Oh great, Bibarels.
Lance: The rest of you, Blue, Gold, Silver, Platinum, Sapphire, Crystal, Monta, N, Cheren, Yang, Alex and Gabby, you are all on the Killer Febass.
Gold: Cool! Febass!
Silver: Sucky Pokémon.
Gold: Not really. Febass are actually great for spring water since their roughed scales can purify out the salt.
(Silver tries to punch Gold, but Gold ducks)
Silver: Shut it.
Lance: Your teams are set, and your rooms are set. Now if you're feeling stressed and wanna let things off your chest, there are stalls with a camera that are called confessionals. You know, yell, protest, or just blabber things when you're bored.
Opal: (in the confessional) So far this sucks.
Bel: (facing behind standing) I don't get it. Where's the camera?
Green: (in the confessional filing her nails) I can't believe I'm stuck here with a bunch of losers.
Diamond: (in the confessional) Hey guys, check this out! (armpit farts Shave and a haircut tune then laughs)
(at the cabins)
Green: Bunk beds? Seriously?
Opal: Get used to them. (bumps past Green)
Bel: (at Lance) Excuse me, but where's the spa at?
Lance: Oh, you can't use the spa.
Bel: (screams loudly)
White: Oh man, can that girl scream.
Bel: (at Lance) But why?
Lance: You can only use the fancy resources that this place has through winning in challenges. Those who win get all of the perks. I'm gonna give you all half an hour to unpack, then get to the lodge.
Bel: Wait, what? Can you say it slower?
Opal: Idiot
Diamond: (at Topaz and Cheren) Heh. I'm glad we're in our own cabin of just guys, you know what I mean?
(Topaz and Cheren give blank stares, then walks in)
Diamond: I mean no! I like girls! I just don't wanna sleep near them. I mean -- (runs into the cabin)
(at the lodge)
Bruno: All right! Here's the deal! You'll be getting 3 meals a day. You're going to get your food, like it, and eat it! No exceptions!
Yellow: Excuse me, but will we be getting our main basic food groups?
(Gold and Yellow take their trays)
Gold: Yeah, cuz' I get glareocymic syndrome if I don't have enough sugar.
Bruno: You'll get "SIT YOUR BUTTS DOWN NOW!"
(Gold and Yellow run away)
Bruno: You. (points at Yang) Scrawny kid. Give me your plate. (tries to throw down some food, but keeps sticking to the ladle until it falls down on Yang's plate)
(Yang walks away disgusted)
Diamond: Bring on the chow dude!
Bruno: (puts a large pile of food on his plate)
Diamond: Awesome-ness! (walks away)
Bel: Excuse me, but my physicist says that I shouldn't eat any sugar, carbohydrates, meat, or dairy.
Opal: I don't think that'll be a problem.
(Opal's food moves)
Bel: Cool! (walks away with tray)
Opal: Okay, I hate to be predictable and complain on the first day, but I think mine just moved.
Bruno: (smashes Opal's food with a hammer and food splatters into her hair and face)
Opal: (with a sheepish look on her face) Right. Okay then. (walks away with tray)
Lance: (walks in the lodge) Hey guys, how's it going?
Red: Hey Lance, can we order a pizza?
(Bruno throws a knife at the door)
Red: (at Bruno) Whoa! It's okay dude. Brown sludge is cool. Right guys? (chuckles sheepishly)
(everyone else smiles sheepishly along too)
Lance: Alright, finish your… um… sludge, put on your bathing suits, and meet us at the pier. (walks out of lodge)
Gabby: What do you think they'll make us do?
Ruby: It's the first challenge. How hard can it be?
(scene changes to the teams in a blimp hovering high above water)
Ruby: Holy shi--